Larry the K's Lineup

Here’s a startling reservation about what this pandemic has done to our psyches and our definition of what we now consider “normal” compared to what used to be considered "normal." The other night, my wife and I were watching the Fox show “Name That Tune” for only the second or third time, and it was obvious that the show had to be taped much more than a year ago before the pandemic started as it included these features that are forbidden now in TV shows: * A huge audience. No show taped since the pandemic has included an audience. * Little space between contestants: The podiums of the contestants were fairly close together; now they’re at least 6 feet apart. * High-fives: Contestants high-fived each other and the hostess. The hostess later hugged a contestant who shared a particularly poignant  personal story. * Microphone handed over from hostess to contestant: When one of the contestants was asked to sing a song that she had sung while unsuccessfully auditioning ...

File under "sad but true." Here’s my latest attempt to book a vaccine online from the Worst Government Website Evah! 6:30 p.m. Wednesday, Feb. 24: I prepare myself to log on after midnight by making copies of my Medicare and supplemental health insurance cards. I place them to the left of the computer and put a magnifying glass near it so I can more easily read the small ID numbers. 12:01 a.m. Thursday, Feb. 25: I log on to the Mass. vaccine website only to be told that the website link, which I had used for the previous week didn’t exist. 12:02 to 12:30 a.m. I refresh the website numerous times only to be told that the website isn’t up. I try to take the optimistic view that the geniuses behind this magnificent site don’t have it up yet, so I, in good faith, go to bed. Until 6:45 a.m. – I should have been up all night trying, because obviously the only people who have been able to book appointments are people who never sleep, or beings who don’t need any sleep. 6:45 ...

  Today (Feb. 20) is the anniversary of my father’s passing 18 years ago. The date was March 13, 2003, but in the Jewish religion, the anniversary is observed on the date that corresponds to the date on the Hebrew calendar, which is the 9 th day of the month of Iyar --- which falls on Feb. 20 this year. In honor of Ike’s memorial observance, I wanted to share this column that I wrote on the fifth anniversary of his death. The column --- which was published May 12, 2008 in The Sun Chronicle --- is appropriate to run today, not only because it corresponds to the date of his death on the Hebrew calendar, but because of the timely topic: baseball. The sport has just opened its 2021 spring training for what will be the second straight season that will be played under the cloud of the coronavirus pandemic. This depressing scourge ---- which last year robbed us of most of the season and which this year is likely to let only a sprinkling of fans actually attend games (very possibly none ...

  This an open letter to Massachusetts Gov. Charlie Baker: Dear Charlie: Please do the people of Massachusetts (it’s a Commonwealth in name only as NO ONE is together as all special interests are trying to leap over everyone else to get a vaccine) and resign immediately! You must do this because you and your fellow tone-deaf, pinhead bureaucrats have failed miserably with the laughable effort that you have put forth for the vaccine rollout, which has gone from mediocre and frustrating to awful and nonsensical in ludicrous speed. (That term is from the movie “Spaceballs” and if you’re not a fan of  that Mel Brooks' film, then all you have to   know is that the term wasn't meant as a compliment.) For nearly a year now, the people of Massachusetts have been at the mercy of your imperial decrees, which have been issued under so-called emergency powers based on a very old state law. Meanwhile, the Democratic-controlled Legislature has been AWOL during all of this. Lawma...

  In honor of Valentine’s Day, I’m featuring this column today, the 33 rd anniversary of when I proposed to my wife in print --- on Valentine’s Day! That column appeared in the Feb. 14, 1988, edition of The Brockton Enterprise, where I was working at the time. Many things have changed since that proposal-in-print first was published, and I’ve learned a lot since then, too, as this column --- which was printed eight years ago (Feb. 13, 2013) in The Sun Chronicle of Attleboro, MA --- outlined. It will be a quiet Valentine’s Day, with a peaceful dinner at home – and probably involving snoozing on the couch (my favorite nighttime activity), but it will be a day to celebrate, nonetheless. Happy Valentine’s Day, Lynne. This column appeared in The Sun Chronicle of Attleboro, MA, on Feb. 13, 2013: Twenty-five years ago Thursday, on another Valentine’s Day, I went out on a limb in print, proposing to my wife. She accepted, and we were married at the end of that October. We’re h...

  This column, which was published in September 2019 in Jewish Rhode Island of Providence, speaks for itself: Life is too short, so you should never take your loved one or spouse for granted. My wife and I were fortunate that this Groundhog Day setback in 2019 eventually turned out fine as my wife recovered fully from her broken wrist. But the incident is a reminder that you must cherish every day of your life. That’s truer than ever since all of us have been stuck in this never-ending, horrible reality known as the coronavirus pandemic for just about a year now – and with no end in sight! This column was published in September 2019 in Jewish Rhode Island of Providence: After 30-plus years of marriage, it’s easy to take your spouse for granted, not in a negative way, but in a manner that suggests you’re so comfortable with each other that you know what to expect in most scenarios. But all that changed on Groundhog Day shortly after Lynne left the house to do the weekly food ...

  In honor of the Chinese New Year (the Year of the Ox), which started today (Feb. 12), I’d like to share this column that I wrote for this month’s (February) edition of Jewish Rhode Island in Providence, R.I., about a recent reunion that we shared with our older daughter’s adoption group. Of course, due to the pandemic, the reunion had to be held on Zoom – that equally frustrating and miraculous online platform that is keeping human beings connected in these days of being stuck in our never-ending virtual purgatory. We all hope and pray for the day when we can again enjoy our fellowship in person. Happy Chinese New Year! This column was published in the February of 2021 edition of Jewish Rhode Island of Providence R.I. Compared to the two most recent reunions of our older daughter’s adoption group, the Zoom gathering that we had to settle for on the Saturday night after New Year’s Day would have been considered a letdown. That’s understandable because those reunions, in the ...

“Unbelievable. Our childhood has been wiped out over the past year.” A longtime friend, Red Sox and baseball fan --- and aficionado of everything dealing with the 1967 Boston Red Sox --- emailed me that response today after I alerted him to the news that the late Tony Conigliaro’s brother Billy had died Wednesday at the age of 73. Billy Conigliaro only played for the Red Sox from 1969 to 1971, when he was traded to the Milwaukee Brewers, but he was forever linked with his brother Tony, who died in 1990 after collapsing on the way to the airport in 1982 after suffering a heart attack. Billy took care of his more famous brother from that point on until he passed. While Tony will forever be linked to the 1967 Impossible Dream Team, Billy was traded to the Brewers after the ’71 season. He retired not long after that, in 1973, after spending that season with the World Champion Oakland Athletics under the guidance of Dick Williams, who was, of course, Tony’s manager in 1967 and was Bil...

  Sometimes, to understand the significance of an event --- especially in sports – you have to go back to the beginning. That’s what should be done to completely appreciate what Tom Brady accomplished Sunday night after winning his seventh Super Bowl – his first as a Tampa Bay Buccaneer after winning six in nine tries with the New England Patriots from 2002 to 2019. You have to go back to the beginning – Brady’s first Super Bowl win – to appreciate what a big deal that one was because Patriot fans younger than 30 or 40, who grew up knowing nothing but the unparalleled success of the Patriots, might not appreciate the enormity of Brady’s accomplishments. Similarly, younger Red Sox fans who have become blasé about their success following the ending of the 86-year “Curse of the Bambino” in 2004 --- and their repeat World Series crowns in 2007, 2013 and 2018 --probably don’t recall the decades of frustrations that beset the team, starting in the 1940s, when the Sox narrowly missed ...

I’ve never been a fan of skiing or skating for a simple reason: I have a deep-seated fear of slipping and falling that in recent years has extended to an irrational fear of falling on slick surfaces. Because of that, I’ve taken extra care the last several years while out jogging or walking to go really slowly on wet surfaces in the winter in case that surface turns out to be black ice. But I didn’t realize how deeply that fear had developed until it surfaced the other day, and morphed into a near-panic attack while on the way home from a 4-mile route. Although the pavement was relatively dry when I started out, a steady drizzle had developed by the time I had reached a downhill stretch. Even though I knew the temperature was above freezing, meaning that I’d be jogging on wet pavement, I was surprised when my brain sent me a warning message that caused me to slow down to baby steps. And no matter how many times I told myself that I wouldn’t slip because the road was only wet and not ic...

Here are two more reasons why I feel a little older this week: Dustin Pedroia: Seeing the outstanding Red Sox second baseman officially retire on Monday at age 37 because of his severe knee and other injuries makes me feel old. I watched Dustin Pedroia shine at second base often while he was a member of the Pawtucket Red Sox, and I enjoyed rooting him on then as well as during his career in Boston. Pedroia --- like first and third baseman Kevin Youkilis, whom I also enjoyed watching at Pawtucket --- was a fighter to the end. Both Pedroia and Youkilis played the game the only way they knew how: hard. They both gave 110 percent, and their all-out approach to playing baseball is why both wound up having their playing careers cut short due to a rash of injuries. I saw Pedroia play in 2018 in Pawtucket the day before he was recalled to the Major League roster for a weekend series. He played 7 or 8 innings of a 9-inning late-morning game --- and he looked relatively sharp in the field. ...

A few thoughts on the day after another snowstorm left varying amounts of snow and rain in the Attleboro area: THE NORMALCY OF SNOW: As I wrote after the snowstorm we had in the Attleboro area in December, snow days are much more welcome these days, because they’re a rare instance of normalcy as we approach our second year of dealing with this never-ending COVID-19 pandemic – which likely will never end, especially if our government officials and health officials have anything to say about it. ( Prediction: There will be no “normalcy” in 2021!) But at least on a snow day, the latest dreary and confusing COVID stats take a bit of a back seat to more “normal” --- and yes, in a strange way --- comforting news. It’s good to get up in the morning thinking about going outside to shovel snow and clean up your car – and not about dealing with this increasingly depressing and deadly pandemic. WAITING FOR SHOTS AMID A BUREAUCRATIC BOONDOGGLE:  Speaking of the pandemic, Massachusetts’ r...