Remembering a proposal in print --- 33 years ago!

 

In honor of Valentine’s Day, I’m featuring this column today, the 33^rd anniversary of when I proposed to my wife in print --- on Valentine’s Day! That column appeared in the Feb. 14, 1988, edition of The Brockton Enterprise, where I was working at the time.
Many things have changed since that proposal-in-print first was published, and I’ve learned a lot since then, too, as this column --- which was printed eight years ago (Feb. 13, 2013) in The Sun Chronicle of Attleboro, MA --- outlined.
It will be a quiet Valentine’s Day, with a peaceful dinner at home – and probably involving snoozing on the couch (my favorite nighttime activity), but it will be a day to celebrate, nonetheless.
Happy Valentine’s Day, Lynne.

This column appeared in The Sun Chronicle of Attleboro, MA, on Feb. 13, 2013:

Twenty-five years ago Thursday, on another Valentine’s Day, I went out on a limb in print, proposing to my wife. She accepted, and we were married at the end of that October. We’re hoping to do something special to celebrate that milestone, but given the logistical challenges (meaning what to do with the kids), we may settle for a night out.
But there’s still time to decide that.
One thing that’s not up for debate is whether I’d propose in writing again. Although the nature of the media has changed, I still appreciate the power of print, and I’m not alone. You’d be surprised how many so-called “modern” people aren’t impressed when I tell them that their letter of thanks, club or group announcement, military news or honor roll listing is online. Their initial response is usually either of these two questions: “Does that mean that it won’t be in the paper?” or “When will it be in the paper?”
The answer is that it will be in the paper, when there’s room, but that usually disappoints them. That’s the power of print. People still like to see something printed, which gives them more of a thrill than seeing the same news in cyberspace. The printed word is permanent and it can become a keepsake. You can’t frame an electronic wedding, graduation or birth announcement.
That’s why I proposed in print: I didn’t want a chance to back off from the proposal. Twenty-five years later – with all the highs and lows that we’ve experienced together over that time, I still would duplicate the proposal. There’s simply no one I’d rather spend the next 25 years with.
My wife remains my best friend and what else would you want?
Of course, there are some ground rules you have to learn along the way to help make a marriage successful. These are just some of the ones I’ve learned:
* It’s OK to wash your own clothes and the towels, but don’t do her any favors by washing hers or the kids’ clothes.
* Don’t take her clothes out of the dryer without asking, and if you do, don’t try to impress her by folding them. You won’t do it right, and she’ll only feel obligated to do them over again. I’ve flunked numerous classes of remedial clothes-folding, and even though I think I do fine with my own clothes, my folding skills are constantly ridiculed by my wife and younger daughter.
* Learn to load and unload the dishwasher, and how to operate it. Never open the door once the cycle has started. Be sure to always put a “clean” sign on top of the dishwasher so dirty utensils aren’t mixed in with the just-washed ones.
* Vacuuming the rug on occasion is OK to do, but it won’t get you off the hook from doing traditional male-dominated tasks. Translation: Bagging the trash and taking it down to the basement and out to the curb is your job, and will remain so as long as there is rubbish. Bonus rule: If you’ve let the kitchen trash pail grow higher than normal, and she comments on it, don’t try to deflect the responsibility. Its best to put down your coffee, stop reading Sunday’s baseball column and run it down to the basement.
* Shut off the sports talk radio show when she says she’s had enough Rondo or Brady talk; it’s not worth a debate.
* Don’t leave a newspaper that you still haven’t read on top of the kitchen table; it may be confiscated for baking or cooking cleanup or to line the bunny cage.
* Whenever there’s time in the morning, take her work bags out to her car. And if you’re cleaning your own car off after a blizzard, assign one of the kids to your wife’s car, but be prepared to finish the job yourself.
* When you’re done with your shower, leave her a clean towel and a washcloth.
* Memorize and remember these dates; your life depends on it: Your wedding day, your wife’s birthday and Feb. 14. Of the latter, the holiday owes it very existence to a vast conspiracy concocted by greeting card companies, chocolate manufacturers, flower studios, greenhouse growers and the national restaurant association, but you ignore Valentine’s Day at your own peril.
Your wife or significant other is going to expect flowers and is not interested in excuses.  Even during economic hardships, you still need to buy a bouquet of flowers with one or two roses. It’s an investment that will let you remain in the house for a few more days, at least.